A Facebook status update from a Finnish friend (Hi Iiro!) started me thinking: which country or region's name would be funnier with the word "dance" added in? Turns out -- not all of them.
France, for instance, sounds ridiculous: either a B-movie Western cliché, punctuated with the tinny sound of a fake revolver firing: Dance, France! Or some kind of slur in the diplomatic circles: "Yeah, the ol' France Dance."
Likewise, the United Dance States of America? Shuffle how you like, those five words add up to a cheesy television contest. From the 1980's. With shiny Lycra outfits and big hair.
France, for instance, sounds ridiculous: either a B-movie Western cliché, punctuated with the tinny sound of a fake revolver firing: Dance, France! Or some kind of slur in the diplomatic circles: "Yeah, the ol' France Dance."
Likewise, the United Dance States of America? Shuffle how you like, those five words add up to a cheesy television contest. From the 1980's. With shiny Lycra outfits and big hair.
But this Facebook status update announced that my friend was heading up to Lapland. For a skiing trip, naturally.
Lapland being a sparsely populated region with very little neon and months of weather that contraindicates skimpy clothing. So I'm thinking...definitely: Lap Dance Land.
Lapland being a sparsely populated region with very little neon and months of weather that contraindicates skimpy clothing. So I'm thinking...definitely: Lap Dance Land.
And Canada.
Oh, Canada. Add "dance" and you get "Canadance, eh?"
Proving yet again that it's impossible to spell the country's name without a mocking nod to the Ontario accent.
So, working on the Northerly countries...Iceland? No. Even after watching the Winter Olympic Games with interest, just -- no.
...And only because I know people IN FINLAND who adore Jimmy Buffett, let's give Finland the dance: " 'Cause you're the only bait in town..."
Oh, Canada. Add "dance" and you get "Canadance, eh?"
Proving yet again that it's impossible to spell the country's name without a mocking nod to the Ontario accent.
So, working on the Northerly countries...Iceland? No. Even after watching the Winter Olympic Games with interest, just -- no.
...And only because I know people IN FINLAND who adore Jimmy Buffett, let's give Finland the dance: " 'Cause you're the only bait in town..."
Heading south, how about Puerto Dance Rico? Of course. It IS a rich spot for dance. Ja Dance Maica? For certain, mon! Dance Republic of Cuba? Perhaps. Does totalitarianism mean that everyone MUST dance?
Central Asia is ripe for this sort of nonsense.
Almost any of the -stans sound sassy after a drive-by dancing. Not including Afghanistan, of course, but Turkmen-Dance-istan? Uzbek-Dance-istan? Yes please!
And, as a marginally less ridiculous note, here's what I learned today: the suffix "stan" which means, roughly, "in the place" in Persian, traces its roots back to the same source as the English home "stead." I take this as a message: we are not so different, cultures and languages. Which leaves me with a wistful final thought: World Peace Dance.
Central Asia is ripe for this sort of nonsense.
Almost any of the -stans sound sassy after a drive-by dancing. Not including Afghanistan, of course, but Turkmen-Dance-istan? Uzbek-Dance-istan? Yes please!
And, as a marginally less ridiculous note, here's what I learned today: the suffix "stan" which means, roughly, "in the place" in Persian, traces its roots back to the same source as the English home "stead." I take this as a message: we are not so different, cultures and languages. Which leaves me with a wistful final thought: World Peace Dance.
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