Everglades Challenge 2021: In the Books

Imagine butterflies metamorphosing –– but in reverse. One by one, brightly-colored creatures alight and begin removing their orange and yellow vests, their chartreuse-and-black drysuits, scarlet wetsuits, gloves, booties.

They are encrusted with salt. Their swollen, water-softened hands quiver. They struggle with zips and buckles, sometimes having to stop for a revivifying sip of nectar.

But they finally peel their waterproofing cocoons and emerge at Key Largo: smaller, barer, larval.

The transformation needs only a blast of the hot shower and some hours of sleep before, voilá! they transform into human caterpillars again, full of stories and potential, committed to mowing some vittles.

​Here are a few of those stories:

​Andyman and Natedog screaming along on a reach, the rig humming with energy, everything on the edge and making amazing time in Florida Bay.

Natedog looks back and proudly announces, "The boat's bulletproof!"

Andyman immediately turns his eyes to the sky and says, "Oh Lord! Forgive us, I cannot control what words come out of his mouth."

This photo from Paddledancer of Iron Bob and The Juice, the first paddlers to the beach.

Off Cape Sable, as Spawn of Frankenscot skitters along under spinnaker a, a 5-foot-long tarpon lifts itself clear of the surface –– four or five feet out of the water –– big jaws agape, sides shining like a mirror, and splashes down just shy of the boat's port water-wing. 

A near miss to a legendary fish story. Moresailesaid, from the other side of the boat, "What the hell was that?"

Tied to the dock at Checkpoint 3 in Flamingo in the middle of the windy night, Andyman wakes to the sound of covert rustling.  

He opens an eye, and –– projected against the tent-wall he's made of his mainsail –– is the clear profile of Rocket Raccoon, who has delved into the cooler and opened the plastic Tupperware container and is rummaging boldly  for the really good trail mix.  

Andyman repels the intruder and tries to return to dreamland from his spot on the trampoline of his catamaran.

Just as he is falling back into the sleep of the righteous, a manatee surfaces under him, perhaps 18 inches to the south of his face.

Meanwhile, Natedog snoozes peacefully in a nearby Toyota. 

via GIPHY

At Checkpoint 2, Bill Wright is the volunteer in charge of the administration of the race. Under Bill's watch, the duties include gleefully filming the technique of each team as they navigate the viscous grey mud that separates water from shore at low tide.  

His videos are accompanied by an evil chuckle worthy of a Bond villain.

Photo credit Bill Wright.

Stumbling Thunder recounted the singular joy of sailing out Murray Channel to find a –– is it a congress of manatee?–– manateeing around.

He also said he was surprised by the number of porpoises that swam up to the boat to give the program the side-eye, as if to say, "Y'all crazy!"  Mind you, he and JustAnotherSailor were on a 2-hour watch system, so they were not as sleep-deprived on the mighty Dovekie as might others have been on their various other kooky vessels. 

SailorKing and the RealDM finish their first Everglades Challenge at around noon on Tuesday. The last leg, crossing Florida Bay in a brutal 24+ hours, as the weather grew sportier and more on-the-nosey by the hour.

Tapped out on Monday evening, SailorKing and DM park the Windrider 17 in the lee of a mangrove island south of Tavernier.

​The RealDM tucks himself into a sleeping bag in the tent on shore while SailorKing snoozes at the helm, sitting, he notes, like a corpse.

​Weekend at Bernies takes to the waves! Hell, he remarks, I probably look like a dead guy the whole time.

Meanwhile, on shore, the adventures are perhaps less heroic, but not without risk:

That first bite of one of Harriet's Restaurant's key lime muffin carries a beignet hazard: do not sigh in pleasure and then inhale sharply.

Unless of course you enjoy aspirating powdered sugar and resembling a 1980's cinematic criminal. 

Paddledancer and Mrs. D-Squared both fall victim, but –– thank goodness! –– do not have to press the button for outside assistance. 

​

via GIPHY

Afterword

So, my favorite skipper, TwoBeers along with Moresailesaid sailed in the kind of conditions that are hard to top for Spawn racing down the coast: good breeze, mostly NNE, with favorable tides and excellent luck.

"We've never pancaked so much," announced TwoBeers, meaning that the boat was skim-boarding along large swaths of the racecourse, occasionally outrunning the scrim of water and belly-flopping into the soft sandy mud. The new gasket he'd installed along the centerboard worked well, but sadly, they forgot to close the automatic bailer. Hello Old Faithful of stinky mudflat mud.  

The team crossed Florida Bay in an astounding 4 hours moving like a scalded cat under reefed main and jib. The water-ballast and trapezes came into play on and off.

As they often express, they got their wish to finish before the second sunset, each sailor getting a couple of hours' worth of naps as the boat planed off on a (port) run. 

In fact, the vast majority of the Challenge was completed on port, aside from the odd tack and jibe through passes.

Prudent superstition did not permit them to utter the words "record" until they were safely ashore in Key Largo, but they  finished in something like 33 hours, breaking their own course monohull record from a few years ago by a smashing three hours. 

We stretched out the clean-up and putting away of gear for a few days in Key Largo so that we could share in the triumph of other finishers; the event passes so quickly!

​Until next year...