• Home
  • Blog
  • Me. Me. Me.
  • Publications
  • That 1st Novel
  • More!
  • Contact
AMY SMITH LINTON

The Evil Stair

1/9/2019

12 Comments

 
When planning a trip, I suggest avoid saying things like: "Greece is the most dangerous place in Europe to drive a rental. We certainly won't do that."

or "We'll take a slow ferry from Crete so we can see all the beautiful little islands between there and Athens."

Because inevitably you'll get stranded on Crete (where btw –– the oldest Bronze Age city? The one you have been wanting to see since you were eleven or twelve years old? It will be closed for repairs. For like 18 months.)
Boats in Crete
​Between the ferries, the Mistral winds, and the Ministry of Culture, you will weep bitter, bitter tears of frustration. 
And then you'll find yourself standing in line at the car rental counter at the Athens airport behind a pair of French dudes celebrating Bastille Day by joining the rest of their countrymen on vacation in Greece.

​The fellows will say –– clear enough for even your rusty college French to follow –– that the rental company has run out of automobiles. (Les voitures sont completement fini.)

Nothing ventured, you'll figure, even if these guys snub you for your really execrable accent, you give it a try, "
Excusez-moi, avez-vois dit que Les Hertz n'avez-pas rien du voitures? 
Parthenon
"Oh non, <something something> de voitures, mais mini-vans, oui."  Oh, mini-vans, you'll think, yet another word that has no translation.

​Perhaps because the waiting line was quite long and they had only started their vacation, the French men say, "Do you have a reservation for a car? No?"

Then switching easily to English, they ask, "Have you just arrived?"
You'll explain about the visit to Crete.
 
They will be terribly French in their amusement at your mishaps.  

Of course, the wind.

​Big world-weary shrugs and their lower lips will project out for a moment –– of course, Knossos. Ha ha ha! 

​But of course one couldn't find the Heraklion Museum because it was closed for renovations. For like 18 months.

You'll share gentle, ironic laughter. Ha ha ha! Zee world is funny, no? Trés amusant!
Parthenon horse
Where, they ask, will you go now?

Tell them you were planning to visit beautiful Mount Olympus, an easy drive. Hiking, perhaps even camping.   

Oh, they will say, Have you not heard? Forest fires have closed Mount Olympus.  


"Mais bien sûr!" you can say. But of course. Of course Mount Olympus is closed.
And then you'll be navigating the Greek countryside by fraternity letters while your husband boldly pilots a tiny white rental car.

You'll say, "Alpha-theta-epsilon? and maybe Nu. Wait, is µ ––you'll sketch the letter on the air –– Nu or Psi?" 

Despite this level of distraction, he addresses the odd round-about and the mysterious symbols for merging or yielding without hesitation.

It may be a dangerous country for renting a car, but he's Ricky-Bobbying the living 
merde out of it.​
Picture
Temple of Apollo
On our trip, we did not stop at the crossroads in Theta-epsilon-beta-alpha.

It seemed a quiet, agricultural spot –– silos and onion fields –– a long way removed from mistaken identities and Freud's own dream of patricide and royal incest. 


We went instead to Delphi, a spot I'd hoped to explore on a Classically nerdy trip another time.
 
The Delphic oracle, the Temple of Apollo, the Delphic games. That magical light!

​Be still o Mary Renault-inspired heart!
Stand down, o Mary Stewart-influenced enthusiasm!  

I'd honestly hoped not to bore Mr. Linton to death with all that.

​I underestimate my husband's ability to find joy in his moment.  After mooching around the ruins, he suggested a walk, and we headed up the beautifully marked E4 European long-distance trail. Up up up the Kaki Scala.
At a switchback, I pause to catch my breath, and see the tiny white rental car, no bigger than a loaf of bread far below our feet.

​Later, it's the size of a matchbox car.

Then only a speck.

Then the car is entirely indistinguishable in the distance nearly straight down. 

​The trail continues up and up, the pitch a mathematical puzzle: a 50:12 pitch? 100:12?
Delphi from Kaki Scala

Pebbles roll out from under our feet and hurtle off the side of the mountain, pinging and clicking into the sonic distance. 

​Eventually, there's signage that explains why the trail –– roughly cobbled and zig-zagging with such determination –– is called the Kaki Skala.

Skala, as one might imagine (scales, escalators, scales of pitch), means stair or ladder, while Kaki is not kaka (that would be Russian poo, thank you very much), Kaki is bad or evil.

Ill-omened stair, maybe, or bad ladder, or evil stair. 
​Made bad by who used it: condemned criminals were made to walk up the Kaki Skala and then leap (or be pushed) from an overlook.

Twenty-five hundred years later on a hot, HOT day, there's still a bit of chill in the air. ​
Kaki Scala
Picture
A few hours later, as we followed signs and listened to the musical clanking of goat-bells sounding from the hills around us, we arrived at the Korykion Cave, where Pan was worshipped.

The actual Pan. Not an easy god, he.  
Picture
Amy in the Korykion Cave
​We climbed into Pan's cave. Scene of who knows what-all sacred mysteries, the cave also sheltered Greeks from foreign invasion (the Persians in the 5th C BC, the Turks during the Greek War of Independence, and the Germans in 1943).

A good cave is a joy forever, evidently. 

​We picnicked, respectfully, and then wound our way back to the tiny white rental car, unscathed by Pan or the loud farm-dogs. 

A couple of days is not enough for Delphi.
​I am almost afraid to plan a trip back to the Temple of Apollo to see the Charioteer again and walk those fragrant dry hills ––  in case my travel mojo destroys the entire town.

​But still. 
12 Comments
Andi Hoffman
1/9/2019 08:28:34 am

Fantastic post.

Reply
Amy
1/9/2019 11:23:50 am

Thank you, Andi!

Reply
Paul Leonard
1/9/2019 11:17:08 am

Wonderful. Just wonderful. I love reading your stuff. And TwoBeers is a fortunate man, indeed.

Reply
Amy
1/9/2019 11:24:45 am

Thanks, Paul!

Reply
Lois
1/9/2019 04:21:46 pm

So glad the Kaki Skala and the Oracle of Delphi weren't closed, too-
Great story!

Reply
Amy
1/10/2019 11:39:52 am

Me too!
The Oracle (a woman, natch) used to speak from her own cave in Delphi, where ––  archeologists theorize –– toxic fumes rose the back of the cave and induced visions. An earthquake put paid to that trip, but the whole area still feels sacred and haunted.
Thanks for stopping by!

Reply
Bon Vivant
1/10/2019 01:12:06 pm

Fabulous photos to go with your great story of a lifetime voyage! Merci. Take one French dude, and add one more, especially around mid-July, and they can just make me so mad sometimes.

Reply
Amy
1/10/2019 09:43:46 pm

Merci, Bon Vivant!
Quelque fois, il semble difficile, mais c'est la vie.
Humanity, doncha know.

Reply
Ned Johnston
1/11/2019 08:38:56 am

It’s a delight, as always, to join you and Jeff on your travels. And you always manage to introduce us to new words as well as new (old) worlds. “He’s Ricky-Bobbying the living merde out of it” is my new favorite sentence in the entire canon of travel literature!

Reply
b vivant
1/11/2019 12:41:30 pm

shake n' bake !

Reply
Amy
1/13/2019 09:44:46 pm

Hey b-
Thanks for stopping by. Remember, there ain't nothin' more goddamn frightening than driving with a live cougar in the car.

Amy
1/13/2019 09:37:42 pm

A thousand blessings upon your head, Ned Johnston!

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    About the Blog

    A lot of ground gets covered on this blog -- from sailboat racing to book suggestions to plain old piffle. 

    To narrow the focus, select one of the  Categories below.

    Follow

    Trying to keep track? Follow me on Facebook or Twitter or if you use an aggregator, click the RSS option below.

    RSS Feed

    Old school? Sign up for the newsletter and I'll shoot you a short e-mail when there's something new.

      Newsletter

    Subscribe to Newsletter

    Archives

    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013

    Categories

    All
    Beauty Products
    Big Parks Trip
    Birds
    Boatbuilding
    Books
    Brains
    Contest & Prize
    Dogs
    Everglades Challenge
    Family Stories
    Farming
    Fashion
    Feminism
    Fiction
    Fish
    Flowers
    Flying Scot Sailboat
    Food
    Genealogy
    Handwork
    Health
    History
    Horses
    I
    International Lightning Class
    Mechanical Toys
    Migraine
    Movie References
    Music
    Piffle
    Pigs And Pork
    Poems
    Sailboat Racing
    Sculpture
    Social Media
    Song
    Subconscious Messages And Dream
    Travel
    Wildlife
    Writing

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Me. Me. Me.
  • Publications
  • That 1st Novel
  • More!
  • Contact