She has a filthy vocabulary. Swears like a sailor, which is to say that the apple does not fall too far from the tree.
Denied what's owed her, she'll snort, "Where's my #$%ing biscuit?!" Sometimes it's just, "Mother-#@#s!" when we don't -- you know -- recognize her needs.
When particularly exasperated, she does an open-mouthed loud breathing reminiscent of the non-vocal communications of teenagers.
The small dog is a rare barker, though when she does speak, it's a deep, resonant sound for such a diminutive creature. Mostly, she uses an eloquent variety of sneezes, snorts, huffs, and sighs to communicate.
There are at least three kinds of sighs: the mild, Eeyore "How Like Them" sigh; the lengthy sigh of general acceptance when she retreats to her dogbed (usually involving a long-drawn-out curse word, "sh!#$%^*&%^!!."); and, finally, a dramatic, throbbing, eloquently tragic sigh that makes me think a little of Sarah Bernhardt.
And, increasingly as she gets older, the small dog employs an alarming continual grunting noise when we show signs of leaving her behind.
The gruntling -- so loud! so very like a pig! -- accompanied by waves of shivering and lip-smacking, is both pathetic and irritating to the extreme.
When she suspects something awful is going to happen (luggage is a hint), she takes to trotting close to heel. She'll gaze up with eyes that seem to bulge and glow with panic, like a large frog in a fruitless quest for water. Her teeth clack together, as if this were the last frozen moments in the saga of The Little Match Girl, each breath death-rattling in her throat.
She will hunt up the biscuit she'd been saving (in case we never returned) and chew it as if gobbling up her own worry.
Sometimes, for no external reason I can figure, she'll make a querulous, yodeling cry as she dashes underfoot during the homecoming excitement. Pure emotion, but is it whining? Some variant on, "You g.d. jerks! Oh! I was so f$^*ing worried!" Is it a song of thanksgiving?
Or is it simply a new way to demand that we fork over the dog-biscuits, "Posthaste, Moth@#$$s!"?