Farming: Machine Envy

About 13,000 years ago, someone changed everything. That person had a crazy, crazy idea: to deliberately plant a seed AND THEN wait around until the plant grew up and produced more seed before eating it. 

Seriously, waiting around as opposed to just throwing that seed directly down the old gullet and scampering on in search of the next snack --?! Visionary. Brilliant. 

Those first farmers were the daredevil revolutionaries of their time, probably all, "Carrots? Cool. But I think there's a future in barley." And, "Grains? Grains are SO yesterday. Why not figs and grapes?" around the campfire with their like-minded pals. 

Meanwhile, some bright spark engineer-type was thinking, "But how can we get a few more plants growing where we could keep track of them..."

I imagine that's how we moved as a species from poking a seed into the ground with a stick to swinging a hoe, to steering oxen-drawn ploughs, to using seed-drills and the rest of modern factory farming.  The variety of specialized, very cool, and mostly expensive farming equipment available today boggles the mind.  

For the Would-Be Farm -- our own little experiment with agriculture and new neural pathways -- I do not need a soil-pulverizer, or furrow-opener, or manure spreader. Oh, I admit to a touch of tractor envy (especially the ones that look as if they burst into song like Jiminy Cricket when the moon is full) but my desires are modest.  I want a nice orchard ladder. 

An orchard ladder.  Teetering somewhere between a crutch and a step-ladder, it's designed to let a person access the whole tree without the romping rodeo ride one gets when putting a standard step-ladder on uneven ground against a tree. 

I want one but without -- and here's the rub -- paying more for the ladder than we spent on the camper we made into Base Camp. <Heavy sigh and slow eye-roll> 

Patience is a virtue often heard of/seldom seen...Saabu, if you please, bring me the Mauser and the pith-helmet. Memsahib is going on safari for an orchard ladder.  Equipment auction, here we come!